What if Will Smith wishes he could be me?
A couple thoughts about success
The other day I was working outside and my phone buzzed. An elder from the church where I preach had sent me a photo from a road trip he was on for work. It was a picture of the following house, asking me if I knew whose it was:
I’ll admit it took me one clue to get it. That’s the Gary, Indiana boyhood home of the heralded “King of Pop,” Michael Jackson. My wife was a huge MJ fan growing up, knows all of his songs by heart, and to this day – despite all the turmoil that surrounded his life – holds a soft spot for the guy. Me? I remember loving his old stuff like Thriller and Beat It, but to me the name “MJ” will always refer to #23 from the Chicago Bulls.
I showed Jenny the picture and, of course, she got it right away. What surprised me was the conversation that followed. We actually spent a long time talking about how crazy it is to look and think about how one of the world’s most recognizable faces and well-known performers in history grew up in such humble beginnings.
It made us both think about how many amazingly talented people there likely are out there, hidden and buried in small, inauspicious homes, trailers, and apartments around the world. A few will be discovered, so many others never will. But what’s crazy is how we all instinctively think about that reality. I know some of us don’t believe this when we honestly and earnestly consider it, but it’s a completely natural reaction to say that the ones like Michael Jackson who are “discovered” and become famous…that they are the fortunate ones.
As young people, we aspire to be the one who “makes it,” not one who falls into the faceless hordes of humanity. We want to be on the stage, not the audience; we want to be on the court, not the stands; we want to be on the screen, not the couch. That’s how we define success.
But think about this just long enough to theoretically compare the life that Michael Jackson (and his siblings) went on to have due to their “success” against the life they might have had if they hadn’t been so “successful.” Are we so sure that if given the chance today, they might not have chosen the latter?
Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are more than a few celebrities who are overly content with their lives. And I don’t mean to suggest that even those who aren’t would choose a life of obscurity over their fame. But what I am suggesting is that there are more than just a few blessings of anonymity and being just a face in the crowd.
I italicized “just” in that last sentence because as a Christian I think it’s important to remember that there is only one real “Star” worthy of honor. Christ alone is deserving of our worship; it is to Him alone that we owe fealty. By saying that I don’t mean to diminish our significance as humans, but rather to point out that we all – whether celebrity or simple citizen – are loved equally and infinitely by Him. That is the only firm foundation for our sense of self-worth and purpose – the very categories that bring so much discontent and turmoil to the MJ’s who seemingly have so much.
Recent headlines that have focused on the embarrassing performance of actor Will Smith smacking comedian Chris Rock live, on stage at the Oscars, have given way to some other alarming information about the life of Smith. Specifically, the reality of a marriage that appears to be anything but healthy. The Smiths have already publicly acknowledged their “open marriage,” flouting the conventional boundaries of the covenantal relationship design. And even as they have pretended there would be no negative consequences to such an approach, all evidence is – sadly and unsurprisingly – to the contrary.
Just over a week ago, another video of the Smiths surfaced, this one filmed and posted by wife Jada. She filmed Will without permission and appeared to demean and condescend to him throughout. If roles had been reversed, there would be universal recognition of the conduct being textbook verbal/emotional abuse.
Again, I have to believe that in the quiet moments, when the lights are off, the parties have stopped, and it’s just a vulnerable human being putting his head on his pillow, there have to be moments where Will Smith is sadly envious of those who have “normal,” anonymous lives.
I guess if anything, all this reminds me to count my own blessings, to be thankful for the normalcy of my life – one where I don’t have to worry about friends only interested in my money and privilege, an obsession with keeping up appearances, pressures to conform my values and compromise my character in order to “make it.”
In short, if you’re feeling insignificant or trivial, maybe let this Memo be a suggestion to challenge your own worldly understanding of what “success” really entails.
ICYMI…
We always hear a lot about the so-called “culture war.” But I’ve noticed something very peculiar about it. So I made this video:
And here are a couple columns that I wrote this week that I think might do something for you: